Custom Search

Monday, April 5, 2010

Infertility, adoption, and kiddos (part 10)

If you'd like a refresher or just need to catch up, go HERE, HERE, HERE , HERE ,HERE , HERE , HERE , HERE and HERE.

A wonderful son, a miscarriage, and an ectopic pregnancy. All the makings of an infertility soap opera. Except one...

The next summer was the summer of 2008. I won't go into details in order to protect those who need protecting, but sometime in the spring we were informed of a young lady who was pregnant. We prayed for her for months and then found out she was looking to put the baby up for adoption.

We hurriedly went through the home study process.
(We didn't know this person! This was a leap of faith...)

We got our fingerprints done...I had mine done in booking at the county jail!

We sent her a letter introducing ourselves.
(It was a beautiful letter, heartfelt)...I just reread it...

We got the call. She was in labor.

And she wanted US to be her child's adoptive family.

I don't know how to share the emotions we all went through that summer. Adoption is a wonderful and messy process. It's imperfect and beautiful.

So I prayed. And prayed. And grew closer and closer to God...

And then the birth father showed up. And a legal battle ensued.

And just like that we weren't going to adopt this beautiful child.

Our call now was to pray for him and his life as he stayed with his birth mother and her family. And got sent back and forth to the birth father (who I won't share about since God loves him, but my feelings for him aren't quite what they should be).

And so now we are back to the beginning. We still have 2 frozen embryos. We still would love to adopt.

But pregnancy was horrible on my body. The Rev doesn't want me to go through it again. My mom brings me articles on surrogacy. And I've been through two miscarriages and we're more sure than not that these two embryos would have the same fate.

And in the end I just have to trust God. During the adoption summer, He kept telling me to wait. He reminded me of Noah and the trust he had for over 150 years that God would fulfill what He had told him.

So I wait. For a surrogate?
We can't afford one right now. (Um, they can cost up to $120,000!)

To adopt?
Same problem.

I just KNOW in the depths of my heart that there are children out there for our family. And that one day we will be blessed with them.

I don't know when.

I don't know how.

I don't know how many!

But I have faith.
And with faith, and maybe the help of a few friends, we will be blessed.



PJ said...

Amen. I KNOW God has a plan and will be blessed. I believe it like I believe it for myself. Many blessings, my friend.

Baloney said...

You are right - there is a plan for your family that will unfold over time.
You know that CPO adoptions are 10K or less, right?
Still expensive but not nearly as much.